i would like to know what red brick you went to, because i work at a red brick in california and i dont know where you get off. First of all you were holding the pizza in that picture from the back, any pizza will fold when you hold it like that and i like how you throw in that your “wife” said it was bad before she even read you review real smart how you attempt to show that someone else had the same view as you. I am not saying that we have the best pizza but hey man dont talk crap on it i dont throw rocks at you when you type up your crapy reviews, so dont do that to me.

Well, I know yours was just a hit-and-run comment that was more rhetorical than anything else, but I’ll answer your question(s) anyway.

I went to this one: Red Brick Pizza, Camelback Rd, Phoenix, AZ.

I can tell you didn’t read the original review, for starters because you didn’t know which Red Brick Pizza I reviewed. That’s my fault for not including an obvious link back to the original. I’ve remedied that and there’s now a clear link in this post.

Obviously, pizza is a subjective taste, and I’m more than willing to concede that some people like pizza that I wouldn’t consider suitable for dog food. For example, surveys show that most people think Pizza Hut makes the best pizza.

I am unapologetic in stating that they’re dead wrong.

That’s a flaw with applying democratic principles to subjective evaluations in a dispersed marketplace. Pizza Hut has the most market penetration, therefore more people have eaten there than, say, John’s Pizza in New York City. John’s Pizza, infinitely superior to Pizza Hut, stands no chance of ever winning such a widespread popularity contest. That’s usually why “people’s choice” awards for restaurants are notoriously wrong and favor restaurants with the highest throughput of customers.

The only way to overcome this problem is by eating lots and lots of pizza – not just from your local pizza restaurant or delivery place, but from all over.

We’re all slaves to the geography of our lives. Undeniably, I’ve eaten more pizzas in Phoenix, Arizona than, say, Albuquerque, New Mexico; however, I have eaten enough pizza at enough different places to assert that I’ve eaten more pizza than most people in this country (and by extension, the world), and I’ve eaten at more different pizza restaurants than most people. (As Ben Elton used to say, “not all people, by any means!“)

To quantify my assertion: I’ve heard people say, “I’ve eaten thousands of pizzas.” That’s not impossible, but, a thousand isn’t an easy number to hit for most people. That’s the equivalent of eating one pizza per week for over 19 years. My father started eating pizza (and searching for the perfect pizza) in Florida in 1951. I was born into that tradition and have been doing the same since I was 6 years old. (Earliest pizza restaurant memory: Village Inn Pizza, Grant Rd, Tucson Arizona) I conservatively estimate that I’ve eaten, on average, one pizza per week for the last 36 years. That’s at least 1,800 pizzas in at least 25 US states, 6 countries and 3 continents. I’ve eaten some damn good pizzas. I can’t produce receipts to prove it, nor do I have to.

I can justifiably state that I have eaten a wide sampling of comparative pizzas to base my subjective evaluations on. That still doesn’t mean everybody (or anybody, for that matter) will agree with them.

Here’s a not-so-well-kept secret: I love pizza. I fervently want every pizza I eat to be great. I look forward to trying each new pizza restaurant.

Generally, I take subjective taste into account and try to temper my reviews but ultimately they are my opinion and I’m comfortable with that. For example, I prefer thinner crust pizzas to pan pizzas, but I know that other people think pan is the way to heaven. I try to evaluate pan pizzas as a group rather than as contrasted to thinner crusts. That is not to say I will avoid pointing out that pan isn’t my crust of choice, but I will try to cast it in such as way as to be informative to a pan pizza lover.

There can be objective measures of a pizza also, or example, cost per square inch. (Alright, cost per square inch is somewhat subjective because it doesn’t account for economies of scale or pizza depth, but it is more objective than, “It tastes good.”)

In this case, though, in addition to the Red Brick pizza being mostly flavorless and lackluster, the chain made some claims that I found to be questionable. Among other things they claim their hi-tech 1000º ovens produce crispy crusts in only 3 minutes.

In two visits, they demonstrated convincingly that wasn’t true. Not only were the crusts not crispy, but I timed one in the oven and it was longer than three minutes. If someone makes a claim like that, they shouldn’t place the ovens in sight of the customers if they don’t want to get called out on it. Personally, I’d rather have the pizza cooked well rather than fast, but if you’re going to brag about both, you’d better be able to back it up.

They also bragged up their high quality, low-fat toppings. The definition of “high quality” ingredients is more subjective. Some people might choose it to mean “clean”, “kosher” or “low-fat.” I choose to consider ingredients “high quality” when they have a pleasing flavor – or at least have flavor. Crust, cheese and meat toppings on the review pizzas were about as bland as I’ve ever tasted. Although not an official review pizza, the sausage and bacon toppings from my wife’s pizza did have flavor.

I make no assessment as to how low-fat they actually were, but they certainly tasted like diet food.

I gave Red Brick two chances, which is rare indeed. I gave them a second chance because I couldn’t believe that their advertising concerning their cooking techniques could be so misleading. I figured it had to be some sort of off-day for them, and I wanted to give them another chance. There was nothing on the return visit to change my opinion of the first.

That’s where I get off in giving them this review and I stand behind it 100%.

By the way, not every pizza will flop if you hold it by the back edge. That’s a fact based on observation. It’s particularly true in smaller pizzas for obvious structural reasons. I would never expect a 24″ pizza to hold up but it’s not unreasonable with a supposed “crisp” crust on a 9″ pizza.

I have a second reason for bothering to respond. That’s your use of a form of ad hominen attack against me rather than the review. (I’ve included a link to Wikipedia for your reference.)

You imply with your clever use of quotation marks that I lied about (a) having a wife and (b) that she really did think the pizza was bad… or more specifically, you’re intimating that I made the whole thing up to reinforce my opinion and make it sound more authoritative.

Not only is it completely unfounded, it fails to make any meaningful statement about Red Brick pizza. When the best you’ve got is to try to discredit me rather than make a positive argument in defense of Red Brick, all you’ve done is make yourself look like bad.

If you think there’s something good about Red Brick pizza, try telling us what it is.

Thank you so much for your review. You sound like you really enjoy your pizza and I have recently taken to new pizza tastings any chance I get. 20 years ago in Cancun I had the best fire oven roasted pizza and have traveled all over the U.S. tasting pizza’s. I was very excited when I read about this new Red Brick place, but leary of a big chain. It sounded like EXACTLY what I look for. I am thankful for your review because now I will go into this tasting more grounded. Trust me, as a mother of two who loves her pizza, this could be a huge problem for the staff had I not been warned about the not so crisp crust!! Now at least I’ll be able to somewhat enjoy my meal knowing ahead of time that it might not be phenomenal as I would expect from the advertising. (Do you by chance have your reviews somewhere showing your highly rated pizzas-& I’m in Florida)

I hope you have better luck than I did. Who knows? Perhaps Florida’s higher humidity or different altitude can change the baking properties of their crust?

While chains generally produce a consistent pizza from location to location, it is true that a real pizzaiolo has to adapt to locale environmental conditions – water, humidity, altitude, etc.

I’d really like to think I just had two completely off visits. I had noted an article back in March (link now expired) that indicated that Red Brick was ranked #9 in Fast Casual Magazines Top 100 Industry Movers and Shakers.

I also had noted this quote from the article:

The founders credit their meteoric rise to attending to details and a great team of master developers and franchisees who embrace the RedBrick culture, ensuring the Redbrick system is well established and replicated consistently. “RedBrick is the Starbucks of the pizza industry, strategically positioned to compete with the top four pizza chains and become the #1 fire-roasted gourmet pizza chain,” said Feltenstein

Comparing them to Starbuck’s tells me a lot. Starbuck’s is the epitome of marketing and image winning out over quality, value for money and taste.

I’m afraid Florida is far out of my range. My father, who started my life-long search for the perfect pizza, began hunting in Miami in the 1950′s and he swore up and down that The Bottlecap Inn was the ultimate. They are, of course, long, long gone.