Month: May 2009

  • Primeval – A Tale of Three Cliffhangers

    Cliffhangers. The bane of modern television and the province of hack writers.

    Oh sure, cliffhangers have been around for a long time, they go back at least as far as the Saturday-afternoon movie series of the 30s. Cleverly designed stories intended to get the kids back each week to spend their hard-earned cash.

    Did it go back further? Did cliffhanger vaudeville shows exist? What about live theatre? DId Shakespeare ever write a cliffhanger?

    When is a cliffhanger an important plot device rather than a cheat to the audience that forces them to return to get the rest of the story?

    Even if you didn’t pay money, you’ve invested your time. At what point were you cheated out of your time by the writer stopping in the middle of a story and saying, “See ya’ later!”?

    Rarely did this used to happen in “real” movies. The first I can recall, The Empire Strikes Back, was a horrible cheat. The story had no resolution at all and was nothing more than a setup for the third and final movie. Given the choice, I would have preferred to wait and watch both at the same time, rather than waiting years between them.

    TV series began this sort of thing sometime back in the 80’s (As I recall, anyway). Presumably as a means to get viewers to write the networks and demand their show be renewed. Cliffhanger? Artistic statement or cynical attempt to manipulate the public?

    As you may have ascertained, I’m of dual-mind on the subject. When I know, in advance and with my own agreement that a story is a cliffhanger, I have no problem with it. When there’s a four-part Doctor Who, I know parts one, two and three are going to end of a (sometimes horribly lame) cliffhanger, but I also know the story will completed and the end of part four and that my investment of time will be rewarded. (Horns of Nimon, notwithstanding.)

    So, let’s look at Primeval. I gather that Primeval is taking a week off and next week will be back with the series’ finale. I also gather that DVDs of the third series are already “in the wild” and you only need do a few minutes research on the net and you’ll know what happens next week. For the sake of disclosure, I might through this discourse reveal spoilers about the finale, as it’s been spoiled for me.

    Let’s start at the beginning with series one.

    Anomalies started forming, strange creatures were getting through. Paleontologist Nick Cutter accidentally (or through the intervention of his missing wife) gets drawn into the story. Also, Stephen his assistant, Conner a student and Abby a zoo worker are drawn in. They get bound up by the Official Secrets act and start working with Lester and Claudia Brown. In the first episode, with an anomaly open to the Permian, Cutter goes through and finds a dead human skeleton and a camera. When the pictures are developed, they are of his missing wife, Helen.

    We have a mystery – several actually. What are the anomalies? Who is the dead person? What does Helen know?

    Through the series, we learn nothing about the anomalies. They are, as best we can tell, freak natural events with no rhyme or pattern. We do learn, slowly, that Helen knows something about them and that she has some connection with Stephen.

    We learn that there are “junction points” of anomalies, where multiple anomalies exist, which Helen seems to be able to navigate.

    Finally, a terrifying future predator comes through the Permian anomaly (apparently another anomaly exists in the Permian which leads to the future.) Cutter, along with Helen and military backup take some orphaned (Cutter thinks) baby future predators through the anomaly in an attempt to find the future anomaly, but they escape in the Permian.

    Cutter realizes, too late, that this second Permian anomaly isn’t exactly the same as before. It now leads to an earlier point in the Permian. One of the team is killed (leaving the human skeleton that Cutter found previously (in the past’s future) and Cutter also takes the photos of Helen that they retrieved from the camera.

    Escaping with lives, Helen and Cutter return to the present, not realizing that baby predators were left behind.

    In the present, Helen reveals that she plans to continue exploring the anomalies and drops the bombshell on Cutter that she had an affair with his trusted friend and confidant, Stephen, then escapes into the closing anomaly.

    Only then does Cutter learn that Claudia Brown has ceased to exist and no one remembers her except himself. End of series one.

    Let’s look at that cliffhanger a little in regards to the context of the series.

    There were really two mysteries in the first series. One was the anomalies themselves and nothing really was learned about them at all. They started for no apparent reason, appeared with no apparent pattern, and had no apparent one-to-one relationship between time and space. They were presented as almost a force of nature – one that is not understood, but cannot be avoided. It’s the mystery that is not to be solved. Perhaps it has no solution.

    But there was a mystery or two that could be solved: Who was the dead body, and what was Helen doing having her picture taken in the Permian? These mysteries were cleared up. The writers gave us the answers that they had been promising. The cliffhanger, with Claudia Brown being going and time being changed was new, unexpected and a teaser. I can’t say I liked it, but it was a surprise new mystery.

    In the second series, once again, we’re presented with a series of mysteries. The anomalies continue in pretty much the same fashion, albeit with the added factor of Conner’s anomaly detector telling them where they are.

    In the second series, we wonder who is the traitor at the ARC? When we learn it is Leak, we wonder what’s he up to? Will Stephen be fooled by Helen? Will he betray his friends? How dumb can Conner be about his girlfriend? Who is the mysterious “Cleaner” who dies in the first episode but shows up again and again?

    By the end of the series, all these questions have been answered, with the possible exception of the identity of the Cleaner. At least we are informed at the end that he is not one indestructible person, but an army of identical individuals. There’s not much of a cliffhanger in series two. It’s more Helen pointing out that time can be changed and that, perhaps, she’ll be bringing Stephen back. No cliffhanger is really needed, because after the first series started airing, Primeval was guaranteed two more series production.

    Now we come to the third series. Ratings have been steadily declining, but the series is still popular. Ad revenue is down, but the cost of the show is high. The fate of Primeval is uncertain.

    This year we start to learn something about the anomalies. They’re been around forever. (Well, obvious really, since know they go back at least as far as the Silurian.) More than that, they’ve been around throughout human history, undetected. They can be predicted, first by Cutter’s model, then by the mysterious future ARC artifact. They can be controlled with a proper (again future ARC) device. There is another government conspiracy aiming to use the anomalies for purpose or purposes unknown. They can be captured and moved using magnetism. They can be locked down. They have something to do with a mysterious government project from before the second world war. Finally, at last, the mystery of the anomalies is beginning to unravel.

    Helen’s back, and she’s got a new mystery. She has seen the future. Mankind has been destroyed by the future predators. For some reason, she blames the ARC and Nick Cutter for unleashing the predators on the world. She has a crusade to save the world and she is so fanatical she kills Cutter to prevent the future she has seen. It doesn’t work. The mysterious artifact from the future has some purpose, but what?

    So how do we fare by the end of the third series? In, we learn nothing about the cause of the anomalies. Do the mysterious future devices create them or simply open and close existing one. Looking at episodes 9 and 10, it seems in episode 9 they can open one anywhere, but in 10 you have to seek them out – and they clearly can’t be opened to just any point in time and space. We learn nothing about the pre-war project, in fact, the team ignore it completely. We know nothing of Christine Johnson’s military project. They do nothing with the ability to move anomalies. We learn that, in the future, the ARC has the technology to map and to open and close anomalies, nothing more. From episode 9 to episode 10, Helen’s plan to save mankind from destruction at the hands of the future predators suddenly becomes a plan to save the big, beautiful Earth from mean old mankind instead. All she had to do was look at the future without man to realize that the world didn’t need saving, it took care of it itself. Her madness dies with her at the end of the series. So, with the exception of Helen attempting to stop… something, all the mysteries in series three are left unanswered. On top to that, they strand Danny in the Pliocene, and Abby and Conner up a tree in the Cretaceous.

    This is a series’ ending designed nothing more than to irritate people into demanding another series of Primeval, but perhaps they’ve forgotten the most important thing. If you shit on your audience too often, they don’t always come back.

  • Radiant Heat Barrier

    Summer is on us again in Arizona.

    This year we’re not going to be doing home improvements but we did get some radiant heat barrier similar to what we installed in the attic two years ago to install in our laundry room.

    We have a back room which was added onto our house many years ago. The room has a western exposure and is entirely lined with windows. The room has no heating or cooling so during the summer the room builds heat like no one’s business.

    I’ve now barriered the windows and the temperature has been held down to 95 degrees. A huge improvement.

  • Adventures in Objective-C – Part 2

    On the subject of the Stanford University (iTunes U) iPhone Programming class.

    I had a professor at university who walked in the door on the first day, slammed a book on the podium, and in a loud Germanic accent bellowed, “There will be no stupid questions in this class! The only stupid questions are the ones you don’t ask.”

    To my young, impressionable 17 year-old mind, it made so much sense that I thought it almost profound.

    The problem is, youthful idealism can be rapidly eroded away.

    There are stupid questions. The ones that used to particularly annoy me were when a fellow student would ask the professor a question that had just been covered or had just been asked by a different student and answered by the professor.

    I remember sitting in class thinking, “Pay attention next time. You’re wasting my time.”

    These unpleasant memories all came flooding back to me during the first few videos of the Stanford iPhone class and I really thought I might have to give the whole endeavor a miss. When I was 17, I didn’t have to take blood pressure medicine.

    Fortunately, within the first few classes either the offending students were gone, or they’d gotten with the program. Since then, it’s really been invaluable to my study of iPhone programming. Typically, books have never worked well for me hen learning a new programming language/paradigm/whatever.

    Hands on is what works for me but even that needs some “seeding” with some information. The iPhone developing environment/community was stifled for some time. Apple’s (some say) draconian non-disclosure agreement for early developers prevented source code and discussions from appearing on the net. It even prevented books on the subject from being printed. Thorough as Apple’s documentation is, it’s better as a reference than as a starting point. There hasn’t been a whole lot out there until recently.

    I’ve completed plowing through “Beginning iPhone Development: Exploring the iPhone SDK” (Dave Mark, Jeff LaMarche) and am most of the way through initial development of my first iPhone application – more on that another day – so I’m not coming at this class completely cold. Nonetheless, it has helped me resolve numerous logical problems with my in-development application. This is not because the detail or content of the course is far-reaching, but simply because…

    Let me digress for another moment.

    Here’s another thing that I learned very quickly at university. Not all professors are created equal. In the Computer Science Department in the College of Engineering they had two kinds of professors. They had staff professors who carried a typical teaching workload and they had professionals who worked at some of the local companies who came in and taught the 7:20AM classes and then nipped off to to their real jobs.

    You could guarantee those 7:20 classes were the best. In Computer Science knowledge and theory are essential but there is no substitute for solid, real-world experience. The professors who had both were awesome.

    So back to the class. The two lecturers, Alan Cannistraro and Evan Doll, both Apple employees working in iPhone development, really demonstrate their knowledge of the subject. It comes across best when they’re answering some of those (good and/or not-so-good) questions from the class. More than once, when they switch over to do some code on-the-fly or respond to something that’s just askew from their prepared lecture I have those, “A Ha!” moments that get me closer and closer to understanding.

    I feel this class is really a good example of what iTunes U can do. While I’m not exactly sure what the incentive for universities are to put things in iTunes U, this has convinced me to check out some other courses.

    I read yesterday that the Stanford iPhone class has had over a million downloads. Impressive. Of course, if that represents 1 million viewers, (which I doubt it does, but we’ll just use that number for giggles) that still means that at least 900,000 will do nothing with what they learn. That leaves a 100,000 who will try and 90-95% of the them will probably have to go buy Macs to do Xcode development on. I can see why Apple seems happy to share its employees in this project.

  • Just in time for Primeval

    Discover magazine has posted the following Rules for Time Travelers.

    Actually, it takes most of the fun out of the whole concept, but in summary they are:

    0. There are no paradoxes

    1. Traveling into the future is easy

    2. Traveling into the past is hard – but maybe not impossible

    3. Traveling through time is like traveling through space

    4. Things that travel together, age together

    5. Black holes are not time machines

    6. If something happened, it happened

    7. There is no meta-time

    8. You can’t travel back to before the time machine was built

    9. Unless you go to a parallel universe

    10. And even then, your old universe is still there

    I strongly encourage the writers of Primeval to read them…

    …of course, it would be the end of the show… but that can’t be far off, anyway.

  • Do they really listen to me?! – Primeval, Series 3, Episode 8 – Review, Spoilers

    Synopsis

    An anomaly opens at a test track, the crew dispatch the scene, and encounter a giant bug, which is luckily killed by a car. The anomaly is closed.

    Abby’s brother Jack (hereafter referred to as Jack-Ass) pokes through his sister’s purse and finds the anomaly detector. When she won’t tell him what it’s really for, he (quite naturally, it seems) steals it. (I mean, what else would somebody do if they’ve been told to mind their own business?)

    At the anomaly site, two of the dumbest soldiers ever put on this earth are killed by a second insect without even raising the alarm.

    Back at the base, Abby performs an autopsy on the dead bug and proclaims it to be related to an ant or a wasp and that it’s stinger has mutated into an ovitube – capable of implanting baby bugs inside hosts – like humans. She also notes high levels of selenite. Sarah realizes that the artifact was also covered in selenite, therefore they must come from the same place. (Logical really, there’s only a whole planet and 4.6 billion years (plus all the future) of time for these two things to have come from, so finding a similar substance must be conclusive proof, right?)

    About this time, Jack-ass has peddled his little bicycle right to the anomaly, where he finds the two dead soldiers, now hatching baby bugs. Conner calls the soldiers to warn that they are returned, but Jack-ass picks up the phone lying on the floor. Conner realizes what’s happened, just as the big bug attacks Jack-ass. Sadly, Jack-ass gets in the car and escapes. In the process, he breaks the anomaly locking device, and drives into the future. It’s clearly the same place where we earlier saw the artifact retrieved from. He drives a short distance in the ruins, then gets out of the car and falls into a big hole.

    The team arrive again at the anomaly and, without any form of back, proper equipment or the slightest bit of common sense, enter the anomaly to help Abby find her worthless turd of a brother. Sara stays behind to get the second locking device working, unaware that there are still baby bugs waiting for her.

    In the future, predators are everywhere, and the team slowly advances towards Jack-ass’s car.

    They find him, hoist him up, get him out, burn the bug hill, start a fight between the giant bugs and the predators and escape, but not before Quinn sees one of Christine Johnson’s carrying out an operation to retrieve a woman.

    Analysis

    So why do I say they must have been listening to me? No because this story is any better, but because at least throughout the episode they kept pointing out how incredibly stupid they were being. At least they’ve given up the pretense that they’re not morons.

    Once again, I’m not going to go into a deep analysis of the implications of this episode. I’ll not bother pointing out that insect size is limited by their physiology and their environment. They don’t have lungs, so they absorb oxygen from the environment. Bigger bugs means higher Oxygen content. Oxygen levels high enough to yield bugs as big as this episode showed would mean a highly combustible atmosphere- easily detonated by Becker’s gunfire (not to mention Quinn’s flare.) I’ll not linger on Jack-ass’s twisted worldview – “If you hadn’t lied to me about things, I wouldn’t have to steal your stuff to find out what you’re lying to me about.” Clearly this boy’s quest for knowledge is epic in its proportions. I’ll not bother mentioning (yet again) that the predators just aren’t that dangerous. They’re nothing that a well-equipped group of soldiers couldn’t handle and yet Conner says, “If they got out, mankind wouldn’t have a chance.” Rubbish.

    No, I’m going to concentrate on a pointless exercise in analyzing what we saw of the future. What does it tell us? (Honestly, I don’t really believe that the vision of the future will be at all internally consistent when they get around to revealing it, but, “What the heck?” It’s fun to speculate.

    Let’s start with the architecture and the technology. Ignoring the artifact and the fancy dohicky we see in the previews for next week, everything looks contemporary. Contemporary cars, contemporary buildings. I don’t recall seeing any signs or license plates to see what kind of language was in use.

    The streets are lined with stopped cars, the doors flung open, as if the entire city was trying to escape and the traffic jam stopped them, so they took to their feet. It was a massive, immediate crisis, not a slow incursion of predators. (Unless a huge number of predators arrived all at once, which would imply they came from another anomaly.) Similarly, the insects seem like an unlikely reason for a sudden evacuation.

    Although the buildings show some sign of decay, it isn’t more than 100 years worth, and the cars would have deteriorated faster, leaving the conclusion that the evacuation may have only been 20-50 years ago (relative to the anomaly) and since the cars are contemporary, that puts it, lets say 30-60 years in our future. 100 years at the outside.

    Not enough time for super bugs to evolve, for the atmosphere to beef up enough oxygen to produce the bugs (oh, wait, that didn’t happen) and not enough time for the predators to evolve.

    But wait, there’s more – the mountains have risen up under the cities (or did valleys fall away?) I think we can safely say it isn’t London. Any timescale long enough to produce ruined cities atop spiring peaks would have either been long enough for (a) Cars and technology to have advanced beyond anything recognizable or (b) human city and car ruins to crumble to dust long ago.

    Any way you slice, their view of the future is all wrong.

  • Primeval – Here’s a twist I never expected!

    From Variety:

    In a high-six-figure deal, Warner Bros. has acquired screen rights to “Primeval,”the ITV series that airs in the U.S. on BBC America and Sci Fi Channel.

    Akiva Goldsman and Kerry Foster will produce through Goldsman’s WB-based Weed Road banner. Emily Cummins will also be involved in a producing capacity.

    Goldsman, who scripted the Ron Howard-directed “Angels and Demons” withDavid Koepp, will hire a writer to draft “Primeval.”


    Movie? Primeval? Why do I almost fear this more than the Land of the Lost movie?

  • Adventures in Objective-C – Part 1

    I’ve been trying to get my head around Objective-C and Mac/iPhone programming for the last month or so. At this point, I think I’ve got most of the major concepts down.

    As an Object Oriented (OO) language, it bears a certain familial resemblance to Java, which I typically program in these days.

    While I’m not going to say that Java is a “better” language, I do feel that parts of Objective-C are a capricious conglomeration of logic-unfriendly syntax.

    It’s the implementation of these things that’s irritating. Obviously there’s a certain amount of familiarity and personal preference, but over this series of articles, I’ll highlight a few. I’ll start with a simple syntax example.

    Generally in OO programming, you break things into programatic “objects”, which define the properties of an object and the actions that such an object could do.

    In Java speak, these are properties and methods, in Objective-C they are properties and selectors. In Java you “call” a method, in Objective-C you “message” a selector. Same thing, different terminology. Clear as mud? Good, then let’s continue.

    Typically, properties on an object are protected behind accessor method, such as “getXXXX” and “setXXXX” where XXXX is the property name. Sometimes these are called “getters and setters” – that’s in Java, of course, Objective-C calls them “accessors” and “mutators”. Objective-C also uses a slightly different convention. Mutators are still “setXXXX” but accessors are just “XXXX”, which can result in a little ambiguity as to whether you’re looking at the actual property variable or the accessor selector.

    Java uses “dot-syntax” to refer to an object’s methods, so far example, if you have an object called “newton” and it has a method called “dropApple()”, you would access it like this:

    newton.dropApple();

    Objective-C uses square bracket syntax, so the same thing would be:

    [newton dropApple];

    …and if each one took a single parameter, they would look like this:

    newton.dropApple(velocity);

    vs

    [newton dropApple:velocity];

    It gets a little muddier when we move to two parameters.

    In the example above, I’ve passed a variable called “velocity” which we’ll say is of object type “Speed”. Let’s add a second object type of “Height”, with an instance variable called “headHigh”

    We would DECLARE the java method like this:

    void dropApple(Speed incomingSpeed, Height incomingHeight) {

    …. do stuff

    }

    and call it like this

    newton.dropApple(velocity, headHigh);

    Objective-C would be declared like this:

    (void)dropApple:(Speed *)incomingSpeed dropHeight:(Height *)incomingHeight {

    …. do stuff

    }

    and called like this:

    [newton dropApple:velocity incomingHeight:headHigh];

    Here’s my first irritant, Objective-C selectors use named parameters – which I like better than Java, but only on the second and subsequent parameters. The first is identified by the name of the selector. It’s just a mixed-bag inconsistency. I hate inconsistencies in my programming languages.

    This same system also helps cause Objective-C messages to tend to be very long.

    Java and Objective-C also share another trait, that being if a message/call returns an object, you can then, in turn message/call that object immediately without passing it through an unnecessary intermediary object variable.

    Let’s say we’re somewhere inside an object that is running active code – like a program. I can always reference back to myself with the special keyword “self”, so if my program has a property of type Person, and a Person object has a property of type “phoneNumber” and a PhoneNumber has a method that returns a formatted representation of the number, we can get to that formatted string in java like this:

    self.getPerson().getPhone().format();

    Self being an object with a getPerson() accessor that returns a Person, which in turn has a getPhone() accessor which returns a Phone, which in turn has a format() method to return a pretty string. It’s not uncommon to see these things strung together 4 and 5 levels deep inside Java code, and it’s a bit difficult to read, but convenient, and sometimes a lot better than assigning each step to a new variable, like this:

    Person aPerson = self.getPerson();

    Phone aPhone = aPerson.getPhone();

    String aString = aPhone.format();

    How does Objective-C handle this? Like this:

    [[[self person] phone] format];

    Simpler, right? Yes and No. It’s irritating. Why? Because you have to know, in advance, how many layers deep you are going so that you can put the right number of square brackets on the left. If not, you have to come back later and add them, which really “breaks the stride” of typing. It may be less letters to type, but it takes longer to type.

    Ah, but along comes Objective-C 2.0 with a “solution” to this: Dot-Syntax!

    Oh, but it isn’t the same as Java’s dot-syntax. Objective-C’s dot-syntax only applies to properties, not selectors. (Actually, properties are selectors, you’re not seeing the actual variable, but these are special) That means you can do this:

    self.person;

    or

    self.person.phone;

    but not

    self.person.phone.format;

    instead it would be:

    [self.person.phone format];

    Why is this a problem? You don’t always know if something is a “property” or “selector”, and since the IDE (XCode in this case) helps fill this stuff in from it’s calculated list of available options, it promotes a certain natural “coding laziness” by letting the IDE do the work of remembering names for you.

    So you start typing “self.pe…” and about that time it suggests “self.person”, so you hit the arrow and continue typing “.ph…” and it breaks in again and suggests .”phone” so you hit the arrow to accept and then you start “.format” and nothing happens, then you realize, “oh, it’s not a property”, so you go back and delete the period. That’s bad typing technique. And, then, of course, you have to go back to the beginning of the clause to add a “[” and the end of the line to add “]”

    I know, I know. “Gripe, gripe, gripe, gripe”

    Next time (probably) “Why there isn’t a consistent method for delegates, actions and ad hoc delegates”

  • Work here, please

    We need employees to kick around your food before we serve it.

  • Fate is Determined – Primeval, Series 3, Episode 7 – Review, Spoilers

    Worms? What can of worms?

    Synopsis

    In the middle ages (14th, I think) a “dragon” menaces a village. Sir William goes forth to do battle and we see the “dragon” to be a dinosaur.

    In the 21st Century, an anomaly opens up in a car wrecking yard and out comes a dracorex hogwartsia (no, I’m not making that up.) The terrified crane operator fights back and nearly kills the dracorex, which is already wounded with a lance in its side.

    Meanwhile, Conner discovers Rex up for auction on eBay and contacts Abby’s good-for-nothing-plot-complication-of-a-brother Jack and tells him to get rex back. Keeping the incident a secret from Abby.

    Better late than never, the anomaly detector notices the anomaly and alerts the crew, who arrive just in time to save the dracorex. They try to heard it back through – not seeming the slightest bit interested in how a manmade artifact is imbedded in its side – the anomaly, and just as they are about to succeed, Sir William charges through the anomaly in pursuit of the dracorex, which runs away with Sir William in pursuit.

    While Quinn and Conner pursue the knight, Abby and Becker track down the dracorex.

    The knight is causing all sorts of problems, but, coincidentally, there’s a carnival parade through the streets of London, so he doesn’t quite stick out like a sore thumb. Quinn and Conner catch up to him several times, but he repeatedly escapes them.

    Abby and Becker catch up with the dracorex, and Becker wants to shoot it, but Abby threatens to shoot him with a tranquilizer dart if he does. The beast finally collapses rendering the Mexican standoff moot and they haul the beast back to the junk yard where Abby tries to nurse it back to health.

    While all this is going on, Sarah Page decides to trick her way through the anomaly, where she does field research on Sir William. She lies about her authority to pass through the anomaly, and then demands that the guard pretend he saw nothing when she comes back.

    Using her knowledge of Sir William, and the extremely fortuitous placement of Sir William’s grave, Sarah convinces him to return to the anomaly. He then battles it out with Abby, who seems to be the only one man enough to take him on, to save the dracorex’s life. He defeats her, but her willingness to sacrifice herself wins him over and he departs, leaving the dracorex behind. Another pet for Abby, it seems.

    Jack fails to get Rex back, so Conner takes Becker and some armed soldiers to Jack’s friend and retrieves Rex.

    Analysis

    Ever since this series started, there’s been the “new” concept that the anomalies have opened in the past, giving rise to various mythological legends. It was that information that allowed Cutter to devise his map of the anomalies, which was verified to be accurate, therefore it was just a matter of time before that showed up in the plot, but this opens a huge can of worms.

    Destiny, fate, pre-determinancy and all that baggage that goes along with time travel stories. We’ve mentioned this before, but it’s time for a refresher: Either the past is fixed or it isn’t. Conversely, since the future is someone’s else’s past, the present is either fixed or it isn’t.

    Primeval as followed the notion that the past is not fixed, hence the need to return as many creatures through the anomalies as possible. It’s also the reason that Cutter’s world disappeared and was replaced by the current universe and lead to the non-existing of Claudia Brown and replacement by Jenny Lewis. The anomalies represent a very real and incredibly far-reaching threat for the very fabric of reality. Frankly, the ARC doesn’t take this seriously enough. There is nothing more important in the world than stopping the anomalies. It is simply a matter of time before the universe gets changed again – and yet, the people working at the ARC seem to have no grasp that their very existence hangs on a thread that could be severed with the opening of the next anomaly.

    A commenter noted earlier that Jenny Lewis would never quit her job just because she nearly died. Could someone walk away – no matter what the reason – from the single most important job in the world? The lives of billions of people, plus billions, if not trillions of plants and animals throughout all time are threatened and the ARC is the only place (we know of) that is combating them. There’s a lot of pressure in a job like that, but it isn’t one that anyone with a conscience could walk away from.

    But now we have a new wrinkle. Sir William left his time – he was no longer there to get married and die and be buried. When he left, time would have changed and his grave would be gone – unless it was pre-destined that he would return to the past. If that’s the case, then time can’t be changed and history is safe – but we know it isn’t because of Claudia/Jenny.

    So, the next question is, what about the second anomaly in the 14th century? You know, the one that must be there letting the dracorex through in the first place? Keeping with Cutter’s map/theory those events are now part of historical fact – and always have been. They apparently did no lasting damage to the fabric of time. (Although, how would we know it if it had?) If these anomalies have been opening throughout human history, can we not also assume that they’ve been happening throughout the entire 4.6 billion year history of Earth? Are Permian creatures walking through anomalies into the Cretaceous? And why is it that creatures seem to come through the anomalies to our time, but for the most part, things in our time don’t go into the anomalies? If an anomaly opened on a farm in Surrey, would cows be just as likely to walk through into the past as a dinosaur would into the present?

    Should we be wondering if anomalies are more one-way than another? Consider, they’re highly magnetic – hold up a spoon and it shoots into the anomaly. What’s it do on the other side? Shoot back through? If not, what does that mean? What would have happened to Sir William in that armor suit of his?

    Oh, wait, they’re anomalies they don’t have to behave in a consistent fashion.

    Let’s turn to the ARC team then and their procedural operations. Can we at least assume that they keep all their needed gear in their vehicles, ready for a scramble? If so, why don’t they get it out of the car when they go to investigate? They always seem to arrive completely unprepared.

    Clearly, from the way Dr. Page has to trick her way through the anomaly, the ARC has standing orders not to go through. That’s probably a good idea when it could lead to the destruction of time. In that case, shouldn’t they also have a standing rule to put creatures back through the anomaly? Wouldn’t Becker know that? Why was he planning on shooting the dinosaur? Would Abby have really shot him with the tranquilizer dart? Does she realize (and as a zoologist, she should) that a dosage big enough for the dracorex would surely kill Becker?

    Speaking of Dr. Page going through the anomaly. First she lies to the guard, telling him she has authorization, then on the way out she tells him that he never saw her. Shouldn’t that have been a tip off that she BSed her way in in the first place? Shouldn’t he report that to someone? At least she showed enough curiosity to want to defy orders to go through the anomaly and research. That kind of spirit of inquiry is completely missing in everyone else on the team.

    Looks like the end is heating up next week – an expedition into the future to see the aftermath of the destruction of the human race. (Unfortunately, it looks like they’ll be chasing Abby’s good-for-nothing-plot-complication-of-a-brother Jack.)

  • Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse… Primeval – Series 3, Episode 6, Review (Spoilers)

    Can no one put two and two together?

    Synopsis

    Quinn and Becker test the ARC’s security, unknown to them, Christine Johnson and her soldiers watch everything through concealed surveillance cameras.

    Meanwhile, Conner and Page continue to study the artifact. Page gets the idea of passing a laser through it, and, after various attempts, the artifact projects a 3D image of something that looks very much like Cutter’s modern-art piece of an anomaly map. Christine sees this and launches a takeover of the ARC.

    Quinn discovers one of the cameras and they realize the game is up. Becker helps Quinn, Conner, Abby and Page, along with the artifact, escape to a safe house Lester has arranged, just as Christine’s people take over the ARC and assume command.

    Lester is fired and Becker is taken into Christine’s team.

    At the safe house, there’s a mystery. It hasn’t been used in years, since before the war. It was a research base for a group of scientists working on a top secret project, who left the place as if they expected to come back, but never did.

    Conner discovers the dead body of one of the scientists in a nearby bunker, trapped in a small observation room. His coded diary, which Page easily decodes, ends on the note, “oh no they’re back” or something like that.

    With nothing better to do, everyone gets dressed up in period costumes and dances the afternoon away. Unbeknownst to them, and anomaly opens up right in the very bunker where they found the dead scientist and the area is now swarming with Terror Birds.

    The anomaly detector at the ARC alerts Christine and her staff, and a team are dispatched. Meanwhile, our heroes battle it out, unarmed against the ferocious birds.

    Christine’s team is killed by the birds, but Quinn manages to lure them back into the anomaly, which conveniently closes.

    Due to some unguarded words spoken by Christine to Becker, who recorded her, the minister has her removed and Lester is put back in charge of the ARC.

    All’s well that ends well, as the episode closes with a rendition of “Somewhere over the Rainbow.”

    (Oh, and Abby’s little brother holds a poker party while she’s out and looses Rex in a hand of poker.)

    Analysis

    Do I have to start every analysis section with the sentence, “There’s a lot wrong with the episode?”

    So, let’s dwell on the good for a moment or two. It was a bit of an action-packed story, which. on that level, was rather entertaining.

    So much for the good part.

    Ignoring all the stuff going on with political intrigue and costume drama, does no one on the ARC staff have enough of a brain to realize that the safe house having an anomaly cannot possibly be a coincidence?!?!?! Is is not obvious that scientists either died because of the anomaly – or went through it, never (yet) to return? Does it not seem very, very, very, very, very suspicious to them that this was an laboratory working on top secret defense projects and yet nobody ever apparently bothered to even check up on them and clean up the food left on the tables? Or that this is a safehouse from Lester’s Ministry?!?!?!?The same people who brought you Christine Johnson – who knows more about the anomalies than the ARC people?

    Hello! Even in this corner of the universe, 2+2=4, and yet no one mentioned any notion that there could be a connection between the safehouse and the anomalies, or the scientific research and the anomalies. This might even be the source of the anomalies to begin with.

    Instead we get a heartwarming return of Lester and lots of applause and a musical interlude. What’s up with that?

    Next week looks even better, a medieval knight and a dragon. (No, I’m not making that up.)