Lone Locust Productions

Month: July 2005

  • Weird Dreams

    I don’t put much stock in the theory that dreams means something. I’m more of a “it’s a jumble of recent thought slung together in random ways” kind of person. That doesn’t alter the fact that, sometimes, a dream feels like it is trying to say something.

    Sometimes it’s more fun just to try to let your brain work some meaning out of the rubbish – works for modern art, why not dreams?

    Anyway, this morning I dreamed that Michelle was ready to try a “test day” as school. We’d take her to school for a day and see how it worked out. For some reason, we took her to my elementary school in Tucson. (Blenman Elementary School, in case you’re wondering)

    It was my job to pick her up halfway through the day. I arrived at the school by car and I realized I’d never driven to my elementary school, so I had to hunt for the parking lot. When I found it, I walked through the halls, following signs saying “visitors must immediately check-in with the office, follow the designated path, do not deviate from the path” There were lots of signs leading me through hallways, the cafeteria and classrooms on the circuitous route to the office.

    The path also led me outside to the front of the school, where, in reality, there used to be large stone steps. In my dream, the steps were a Castrovalva-esque jumble of up and down glass stairs. Along the way, many of the stairs had stainless steel additions to them, plates and panels and trays. When I finally reached the top, which was elevated a total of three floors, the “office” consisted of a bar, complete with 1800’s bartenders with handlebar mustaches. Many of the parents were hanging about getting drunk.

    I tried to have a conversation with the principal about the school’s performance, when I noticed a stack of computer monitors balancing precariously. I had to steady them as a student came in and warned me that they were unstable.

    In turn, I showed him the proper way to stack monitors to achieve maximum stability. At least somebody learned something at school that day.

  • Know Your Kids’ Birthdates

    I had to go to vital records today to pick up birth certificates for my son so we can get his passport. They ask you several tricky questions.

    • What is your name?
    • What is the child’s name?
    • What is the child’s birthdate?
    • What hospital where they born in?

    I had rehearsed the answers before I arrived, but apparently the two fathers behind me didn’t – neither knew their child’s birthdate, one of them didn’t know the hospital. Thank goodness for cell phones, they were able to call someone and ask.

    Luckily I was several feet away or one of them would have overheard me ask, “Do you at least know your kids’ name?”

  • Flagstaff, Day Two

    After the inauspicious start on Monday, Tuesday promised to be better.

    With nothing in particular to do, getting going in the morning was slow. We were out just intime for lunch at Pizza by George (see review elsewhere on this site) and then we headed out for Sunset Crater. We wanted to find a place where we could walk around and enjoy the weather.

    As we headed out, a storm headed in, soaking Sunset Crater. Although the rain was mostly over, whenever we got out of the car, it began again. Apart from getting wet, the temperature was pure heaven.

    Finally, the weather let up, but James needed feeding. While Irene stayed in the car to nurse, I took Michelle on a walk. We got about 200 yards out in the lava flow when she announced she needed to go to the potty. I asked if she could hold it and she assured me she could.

    Regardless, we headed straight back. 50 yards later I heard the sound of water on the trail. For a child who has only failed once after being potty trained, Michelle was making a very poor showing on this trip. Fortunately, mommy carries backup clothing for Michelle.

    I’d like to say we did something else, but apart from the mundanities of eating and sleeping, we didn’t.

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  • Review: Holiday Inn Express Showerhead




    DSC00105.JPG

    Originally uploaded by Gridman.

    Preface
    Each morning, on my way to work, I pass a billboard for Holiday Inn Express, bragging about… their showerhead. The statement being something to the effect of, “#1 guest rated showerhead.”

    Each morning, I think two things:

    1. Is their showerhead really the best thing they have to offer?
    2. What new innocuous item in a hotel room can I come up with today to mock them with? (#1 guest rated doorknobs or acoustic ceiling tiles for example)

    I also frequently wonder why I never get to participate in a comparative review of hotel accomadations.

    Imagine my surprise when I arrived at our hotel in Flagstaff, I looked in the bathroom and there was the showerhead I see each morning on the billboard staring back at me!

    The Review
    My first impressions of the showerhead are that it is big and sturdy-looking. While neither of those criteria immediately seem like something that make much difference in the performance of its duties, I can see how a hotel chain could value durability.

    The showerhead has three settings, a traditional spray, a more stream-like configuration and water masage. The controls are simple, almost intuitive, the entire outer ring of the showerhead rotates changing the settings, each position “clicks” into place with firm resitance, providing the user with positive feedback that they have set the control correctly.

    The showerhead itself is very large, promising a very large water pattern; however, the actual area of the spray appears no larger than a traditional showerhead. As the controls move from spray to masage, the area actually decreases, moving from the outer spray ring inwards.

    Performance was acceptable in all settings, although the spray mode was its best performer. I find the stream mode rather useless, but that’s true with all showerheads. The masage was adequate, but hampered by a lack of water pressure.

    The ball-joint for adjusting the position of the showerhead was fluid and held its position with ease.

    The unit itself appears to be custom-made for Holiday Inn, the words “Stay Smart” is molded into the unit. There are no other obvious identifying marks. There also appeared to be no anti-theft devices incorporated into the design – that surprised me.

    Some years ago, hotels started puting alarm clocks in the rooms. I don’t know if, long ago, hotels used to put clocks in rooms and finally removed them because too many jackasses stole them, or if they just never had them, but when they did start putting them in rooms, many of them had stickers on them that said something like this:

    This clock is placed here for your convenience. For the convenience of other patrons who come after you, please leave it here. If you would like to purchase a clock just like this one, they are available for sale at the front desk when you check out.

    I’m really surpised Holiday Inn doesn’t sell their showerheads. Even if they aren’t as great as they might like you to believe, they are good, and they have been bragged up a lot. I would be good advertising/merchandising if they sold them to weary travellers who have been sold on their magnifigence.

    Conclusion
    I wouldn’t stay at Holiday Inn Express just for the showerhead, but without doubt, it is the finest hotel showerhead I’ve ever used.



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  • Flickr

    I’ve set up a Flickr account for storing photos online. As of this writing, I’ve only uploaded some pictures from this trip to Flagstaff. When I get back home to my iPhoto library, I’ll fill it up some more.

  • Review: Pizza by George (Flagstaff, Arizona)

    Pizza By George
    5200 E Cortland Blvd
    Flagstaff, AZ 86004 – 9337
    (928) 526-0500

    Review moved to the Pizza Locust website, click here.

    Note, I’ve closed comments on this post, please post any comments at the Pizza Locust entry.

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  • Pizza Reviews

    Here’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time: pizza reviews. Why me? Apparently because the world has gone to hell in a handbasket. I was watching the Food network this weekend and they had some sort of national pizza championship, and for starters, it was just wrong!

    50% of the points awarded were for pizza dough acrobatics set to music. That’s just wrong… for a pizza contest 100% of the points should be for taste. I suppose you could perhaps have 95/5 taste/appearance, but nothing else matters.

    The second thing that was wrong was that California won. For starters, I’ve had good pizzas in California – state of origin is not an issue, but this thing was just an abomination. It started OK, with crust that didn’t look bad, sauce and even cheese – then things went awry.

    The chef stated that he went with an all-vegetarian pizza, in case the judges wanted a vegetarian experience. Pizza judges must never be vegetarians, neither can they be lactose intolerant nor allergic to tomatos or wheat.

    In this case, California went with an all-mushroom pizza. Personally, I can’t stand the little things, but I understand some people do like them. When finished, the pizza was drizzled with some form of distilled salad dressing. It should have been laughed off the stage, but it wasn’t, it won first place. Sacriledge!

    I’ve long held that the new California pizza cuisine is designed for people who don’t like pizza and this was a classic example.

    In any case, my pizza reviews will be a little more scientific, all pizzas tested (unless otherwise noted under extenuating circumstances) will be traditional, crust, tomatoe sauce, cheese (mozarella or a mozarella blend) and any combination of the following toppings:

    • peperoni
    • sausage

    We will not review Thai Chicken with Goat Cheese and Rat Droppings, nor any other combination of crap that seems to be the rage these days.

    Unless otherwise noted, the pizzas will be fresh, not re-heated, nor delivered. They will be served and eaten at the restaurant. I’ve got a couple other pizza reviewers in the wings who will also follow the same criteria.

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  • Only one to go…

    Since this is the shakedown cruise of the blog at Lone Locust, I make no apologies for the disorganized approach I’m using at the moment.

    It’s our first morning in Flagstaff and I’m the only one awake, I’m cathcing up on yesterday’s entry because I just didn’t get around to it last night. Without further ado, here’s yesterday:

    After the power failure that had kept me up well past 3:00 and hampered my sleep even longer (no A/C can bring the temp down from 97 to something sleepable without some delay) I had to get up at about 7:30 in preparation for the trip. I had to get over to the cell phone store to swap out my dead new phone with a replacement. So far, I like the phone, but am not crazy about the quality-control.

    The shop opened at 10:00 so I took the opportunity to stop for breakfast at Lee’s Sandwich Show an interesting Asian-themed from California located, regrettably, on the wrong side of the Phoenix-urban sprawl.

    Once the phone was in my possession (the owner had thoghtfully pre-charged it overnight for me) it was back home for final preparations and off for Flagstaff.

    There’s not much to say for the drive. I would have thought Michelle would sleep, but instead she stayed stubbornly awake and, as she often does when overly-tired, chatted incessantly.

    I was the only one who had breakfast, so we stopped around 1:00 PM in Verde Valley and ate at Wendy’s. I wasn’t too hungry yet, but everyone else needed the break.

    Just as we reached pine trees, about 40 miles outside of Flagstaff, Michelle fell asleep. The highway travels at 75 mph (with cars still passing) and we travelled into a cloud burst. Visibility dropped rapidly and we began to decelerate, but it was the noisiest rain I’d ever heard. That’s when I realized it was hale, battering the windshield in excess of 60 mph. At first they we pea-sized, but suddenly they became marble-sized. Fortunately, they must have been fairly soft, and they impacted the windshield and compressed into discs about 1 to 2 inches across.

    I got the car off the highway at the first exit and headed for parking under the trees, but by the time I was off the highway, the storm passed. Despite the fact that it had sounded like someone beating the car with hammers, Michelle managed to sleep through it all. The rest of us were shook up. Ice and water from the sky just isn’t natural.

    Later inspection of the car revealed a few paint chips and a half dozen or so pits in the windshield.

    By the time we got into Flagstaff, drove to the resort, so that they could send us to the Holiday Inn, I was hungry, but no one else was. Irene made reservations for 8 at Black Bart’s, a steakhouse she loves and always visits when in Flagstaff. As it was only 5:00, I grabbed a bite at Taco Bell and tried to see if any wireless internet was available nearby. I had no hope for the hotel because it had one of those web-tv like keyboards on the TV and, a quick check showed it cost $10 a day to use. As we’re right next to several other hotels, I had hope my wireless might pick up a stray open-access signal. It turns out, though, that the Holiday Inn had free wireless access and I was soon online.

    My first experiment was trying to make some posts to this blog and it was fighting me every step of the way – I couldn’t get to the management software of my website to make necessary changes. After doing and undoing every possible thing I could that I felt might reverse the changes I made putting this blog into place, I finally stumbled upon the fact that the wireless hosting here at the hotel was what was preventing me from using my management software. The unique, session-specific URLs were being interpreted as hacking attempts and blocked. So much for “intelligent” software. The net result was that I didn’t take a nap before it was time to go to Black Bart’s.

    Black Bart’s, for those not in-the-know (which I assume is statistically almost everyone on the planet) is an RV park with a steak house and music hall review. All the waiters and waitresses are presumably all starving students from NAU who get up and perform songs and musical numbers. Not my cup of tea, but Irene loves it. We also suspected that Michelle would really like it. My hope was that James would just ignore it.

    Food was good, Michelle really enjoyed the singing – too much, in fact, as she paid more attention to the signing and not enough to herself, consequently, she peed all over the chair.

    After we got back ot the hotel, exhaustion finally sat in and I needed to sleep – no one else was ready, though, and, being in a small confined space they kept me awake another couple hours.

    During the night, James would kick the crib, which sounds just like a prisoner rattling his cup against the jail cell bars.

    It was not a good night, at least there is only one more to go…

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  • Flagstaff

    We’re in Flagstaff now, “enjoying” a “free” vacation at the Holiday Inn
    Express. “Free” because we were given a vacation package as a promotional
    distribution, but it turns out that, even though it really is a freebie, it
    is still tied with a timeshare and we can get some upgrades if we went to
    the presentation. We didn’t, so we’re in the Holiday Inn, not the actual
    resort. Still, it’s got free wireless access.

    It’s been a long, long day, and a long night before it. Last night, about
    6:00PM, we were planning our evening, and thinking about packing, when a
    micro-burst blew in and knocked out the power. We lost a tree branch, but
    some houses less than a block away lost parts of their roofs, large trees
    were upturned, gigantic branches came crashing down and street signs and
    basketball goals were bent by the wind. It was also about 110 degrees
    outside when the power went out.

    It wasn’t long before the inside temperature started to equalize with the
    outside and things got nasty. We went out shopping, but as it was Sunday
    night, most things were closed. We hung out at the Wal-Mart till they
    closed, but still there was no power nor traffic lights in the area when we
    got home.

    We got hold of the power company and their recording said, “…if you don’t
    have power by 1:00AM, call back.”

    We all got in our swimsuits and sat outside in the front yard, trying to
    catch a breeze until nearly 1 when we called back. The revised estimate was
    service restoration by noon. Great.

    We decided to abandon the house, but it was too late to call anyone, so we
    decided to go to my father’s house while he was out of town. Just as I’d
    loaded 75 lbs. of frozen breast milk into the car, an power truck pulled up
    a block away, there were the sound of a big switch being thrown and the
    power came back on – but only on my side of the street.

    They could have done that 10 minutes earlier and I wouldn’t have had to bust
    my back.

    Of course, the power failure meant we had no opportunity to pack as planned
    for today’s trip. Also, I had to get up around 8 to drive to the other side
    of town to replace my new Motorola V3 phone (Less than 24 hours old and it
    failed catastrophically) before we left town.

    It was a rushed morning, but I got my phone, we got packed and got out of
    the house by noon.

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  • Not what you expected?

    Not the same old lone Locust Page? No, no it isn’t.

    I’ve notived recently that most of my website stuff exists on my virtual domains, Lone Locust Travel, Fusion Patrol and Ninja Team. meanwhile my main domain languished with lack on content.

    So, the grand experiment: Blogging 🙂

    Bear with me while I get this all setup.