One Chicken to Rule Them All

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My wife told me earlier today that she thinks I like to write. After all these years of marriage, I was shocked that she didn’t understand me at all.

I hate to write.

I’ve hated writing all my life and yet here I am, writing again.

For the most part, I write what I write because if I don’t, it won’t get said – or, at least, it won’t get said in the right way.

If you look at my writing with that thought in your mind, you’ll see why so much of my writing is (I’m told) somewhat acerbic. There are things that need to be ridiculed, at every opportunity, like Creationists, because they get too much credibility or too much deference when they should be laughed out of the room.

Chinese nationalism is like that, too. Check out this blog post from Laowisewass*, which, I kid you not, points out that a good reason to “unify” Taiwan is so that China won’t look like a legless chicken on the map. Admit it, you sit around laughing at China, the legless chicken, at least once a day, right?

(If there’s a comment there about Col. Sanders, that was me.)

This idea makes complete sense to me. I know that’s the first thing I do when I look at a map, I try to make pictures of animals out of the countries. Is it any wonder that the island of New Guinea is such a mess? I mean, obviously, it’s a kangaroo, and Papua New Guinea is its ass. Their destiny was sealed by geology!

*It’s not often that I’ll wax enthusiastic about someone’s internet screen name, but “Laowiseass” is a fantastic name. “Lao Wai” (Pronounced: “lao why”) is a somewhat uncomplimentary name for a foreigner. Laowiseass, is just hilarious.

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