Taiwan (2024) – Day Zero

In the past month or so, in the run-up to this trip, I’ve been watching tourists in Taiwan on YouTube. What I saw depressed me.

I am not a “newbie” to Taiwan. I first visited in 1998. In chunks, I’ve spent the better part of a year here. In all that time, I’ve rarely been based in hotels but have lived with my in-laws, meaning that, rather than getting strictly the hotel-based view of Taiwan, I’ve seen how people actually live.

My in-laws aren’t necessarily typical. Both are in their 80s. As a small child, one fled to Taiwan from China along with Chiang Kai-Shek’s forces as they retreated from China. The other was born in central Taiwan to “native” parents. (Native, in this case, refers to coming from an earlier wave of immigrants to the island, not the indigenous peoples.)

Both were raised very, very Catholic.

They are as authentically Taiwanese as it gets, yet I’m aware that their Catholicism wiped away many of the traditions I might have experienced in other Taiwanese homes. (Let’s call that a byproduct of Christian imperialism; stick a pin in it, and move on.)

I mention all this to temper my claims that I’ve lived in a “typical” Taiwanese household if such a thing exists, but I have experienced day-to-day life here. Watching tourists misinterpret what they see can be painful.

But, honestly, I’m a tourist, too. My hubris hasn’t extended so far that I don’t realize that.

I’ve committed the same mistakes they’ve done, and I’m certain to do them again. Probably even today.

I’m sorry in advance. My experiences are my own, and I cannot disassociate them from my frame of reference.

That said, for this trip, I’ve set some “goals” which I shall try to strive for.

  • Try to post (at least) one “interesting” picture, daily. By this, I’ll try to compose and take one image that I find visually interesting, not necessarily part of the narrative, just that I’m trying to keep my eye open for something… interesting.
  • Write at least one blog entry per day. I got a hair up my butt the other day and decided that I was bringing a paper journal just like I did on my first trips to Taiwan and I was going to write in it; however, while I did bring the journal, I can see that the “ease” of jotting stuff down electronically on my phone as the moment hits me is going to preclude most use of the paper journal. This depresses me, but which is more important, logging my thoughts, or recording my chicken scratches?
  • Shoot a vlog entry at least every three days. I haven’t done that in a while; those will be on the Tedium Unlimited YouTube channel.
  • Stay positive. My personality is absolutely rooted in the need to point out the negative, usually because I find it absurd (or annoying). I will not succeed at this, but I’ll try to keep this in mind. I genuinely love Taiwan, but I can pick out the faults in anything. (Anything except my wife, she’s perfect.)
  • Try to avoid talking about the food. Everybody talks about the food in Taiwan. Everybody. Always. All the time. There’s a reason for that — food seems to dominate the Taiwanese identity, and there is a staggering amount of food here. Everyone seems to base their activities around food, and eating is what you do here. It doesn’t matter how remote or incredibly beautiful any part of Taiwan is; there will be food, and it will be a big deal. They love regionalizing and discussing the local “famous” crop or dish. (And they will line up or go a long way for it.) Before they opened the tunnel between Taipei and Ilan, I’ve been on a the multi-hour drive just to buy Ilan’s “famous” green onions to take back home to Taipei.

    WTF, but true.

    I can tell you this goal will fail, too. We all eat, and eating is what you do here. I will try to be mindful, though, or try not to follow the most obvious paths. (No Stinky Tofu ever!)
  • I will not pronounce Kaohsiung as “Cow-Shung.” That’s a rookie mistake I won’t make. Taiwan still, in places, uses the worst Romanization system, Wade-Giles, to convert Hanzi into the Roman alphabet. The first character in Kaohsiung (?) is the best example I can think of. Spelled “kaoh” in Wade-Giles, in Pinyin (the newer Romanization system from across the great divide that is the Taiwan Strait,) it’s spelled “Gao,” and I can tell you to Western ears, it’s pronounced much closer to a “G” than a “K.”

    The point of a Romanization system is to make it possible for foreigners to interpret words they see phonetically, and there may not be a clear winner, but there is a clear loser: Wade-Giles.

    Fun fact: For my Chinese name, with use ? (meaning “tall”) for my family name.

So, with that lengthy prelude out of the way, let’s begin with the flight, of Day Zero as I usually call it. (You lose a day from the USA to Taiwan on the flight.)

Trying to stay positive. We arrived ahead of schedule.

I can’t say anything else positive about it. Nada. Zip. Zilch. After our return flight in two weeks, we will never fly United Airlines internationally again.

And, for wife’s friend who recommended United as her favorite airline to fly, we’re going to recommend either an intervention or counseling.

We arrived around 4:00 AM and were shuttled by a professional driver in an excellent Mercedes, hired by my brother-in-law, to my in-laws’ home., since it was still 11 hours too early to check into our hotel

Being driven to Taipei

Oh, did I forget to mention it? On this trip, we will be staying in hotels and Airbnb. This is because my eldest is living with the in-laws while studying at NTNU, and there is no room for us.