October 17, 2024 (Twice)
I believe this was my 14th trip to Taiwan. That’s 28 crossings of that damned Pacific Ocean. You really appreciate how big it is when you’ve crossed it for hours, then look out and still see nothing but the cold, silent death below that is the great expanse of the Pacific.
I am mentally uncomfortable with the idea of crossing the ocean and physically uncomfortable being cramped into a plane for 11-14 hours.
When Chuwan and I got married in 1998, the legal ceremony was here in Arizona. We had a second ceremony on January 1, 1999 in the Catholic cathedral next to Daan Park in Taipei for the benefit of her family who are all (or were) painfully Catholic. (Despite the fact that Chuwan and I are both atheists.)
We invited my father, then 67 years old, and a man who joined the Navy at age 17 just to see the world and spent his subsequent life traveling all over North America, to come to Taiwan for the ceremony. He said to me, “Son, as much as I’d love to be there for you and see more of the world, thank you, but no. At my age, I don’t think I could possibly stand flying on a plane for 14 hours.”
At age 59, and with the airlines shrinking their seats at every opportunity, his words of wisdom now ring very true in my ears.
Until this trip, we’ve flown Singapore Air (the best!), Eva Air (a Taiwanese carrier, also excellent), and China Air* (not as nice as Eva, but still very good.) I cannot say I’ve ever enjoyed a flight across the Ocean, but these carriers have made it almost tolerable.
There are also other ways to improve the experience. Chief among them is to avoid flying out of Los Angeles and instead fly out of San Francisco, Seattle, or Vancouver. The extra time you spend reaching those airports is saved back in the long east-to-west flight leaving the USA. (Typically, they use the longer polar route from east to west. The further north you are, the shorter the trip. They power directly across the ocean on the way back, and it doesn’t make as much difference to the crossing time.)
This time we flew with United Airlines. I have nothing good to say about them. I’m not going to detail my list of grievances, but at the same time, I want to warn you. The seats are incredibly small and uncomfortable. On the flight out, I was in a window seat, and because of the cramped space, my back was jammed against the window-side armrest (that didn’t raise up), and my back was wrecked by the time we landed. It cast crap over the entire time in Taiwan for me.
The food was terrible. If you have nothing do but sit on the plane and wait for the next meal, you don’t want it to look (or taste) like this. I’ll let your imagination tell you what this reminded me of. (Also, feel free to guess what this is.)
When we got up in the morning, all I can say is that I was dreading the flight back. We considered upgrading to Steerage Plus class, but that was $600 more, and they didn’t have any seats to sell us, anyway. “Grin and bear it” is the order of the (very long) day.
We would be picked up at the in-laws’ house at 8:00 AM, and since Melz leaves for school at 7:00 AM, our goal was to get there by 6:30 AM. We said goodbye to our Airbnb, which has to be the best overall accommodation I’ve ever had on a trip, and grabbed youtiao for breakfast. It was the greasiest damned youtiao I’ve ever had, and my thoughts turned to what that would do for me on the flight.
After last night’s waterworks, I was concerned that Melz would again get the sads right before going to school this morning, and they had a test this morning, but Melz was upbeat, and we had a nice farewell. Chuwan, always cognizant that her parents are quite old, always has a rough time when we leave, but leave we must.
We were shuttled back to the airport in a damned nice Mercedes. If someone is going to drive you around, I highly recommend it.
The recommendation for arrival for international flights at Taoyuan International Airport is 3 hours before flight time, and it’s an hour drive to the airport. We arrived at the airport around 9:00 AM and it never takes 3 hours to get though security. We had time to kill.
There are observation decks at either end of the main terminal, and we spent some time watching the planes taxi and take off. Apparently, the planes need an audience, so there were artwork bears in the observation area watching the planes at all times.
Food on international flights has an oddly bipolar nature. Foods for the flights out of the US are prepared in the US. Foods for the returns flights are prepared in the country of departure. There was a slight hope that the return flight food would be better, but we decided to have a nice big lunch before leaving.
I hadn’t gotten around to trying Lao Dong Beef Noodle** on this trip, and to my delight, there was one at the airport—and it was great! We thoroughly enjoyed every bite.
The subject of “best” beef noodle soup in Taipei is a much-contested title in an annual contest, and I’m not sure if Lao Dong has ever won, but it’s certainly in many “must-try” lists.
If you ask my kids, the best is always mom’s version, but I will have to consider Lao Dong the best I can recall ever having. This might sound like a recipe for marital strife, but my wife knows a spice in hers doesn’t sit well with me, and we’ve never been able to isolate what it is. It’s very common in beef noodle soup, whatever it is, but I didn’t notice it in this bowl, and that puts it over the top for me.
Digression: Ever since our trip to Japan in the early 2000s, I’ve been a fan of Toto Washlet toilet seats. We’ve had several in our home, both authentic Toto and various knock-offs. They’re getting more and more prevalent in Taiwan. My in-laws have them, hotels have them, and even train stations have them. Practically, the only place that didn’t have one was our Airbnb. It was the only strike against it in our book.
As we were heading for our gate, the restroom on the way was prominently branded as a Toto Restroom. I had to check it out. Dig this picture; it’s an individual stall in the men’s room, although I think I might have stumbled into a “special” stall. I have no clue what the small “plus” sign is superimposed over the usual man symbol.
Finally, it was time for us to fly. We had slightly better seats. (I was on the aisle.) The flight was a bit shorter, and ahead of schedule. The food wasn’t great, but it was better. I survived it, but I didn’t enjoy it.
The flight from SFO to PHX was the worst, though. We were separated. I was at the very back of the plane, in the middle seat, wedged between two large assholes that hogged both armrests, and even when I “accidentally” dug my sharp, pointy elbow into one of them, he just kept on snoring.
We are home and safe, but there’s been some drama on the homefront that I need not recount here. I’ve got additional posts on various aspects of the trip, including our experiences with data-only eSIMMs, rice husk chopsticks for sustainability, the National Taiwan Normal University’s Mandarin Training Center, using Taiwan YouBike 2.0 for foreigners, and there might be one or two more as I go back through my scribbled notes.
If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading!
*”China” Air is the flag-carrier airline of Taiwan (AKA The Republic of China) because they got to the name first. Taiwan was setting up an airline in 1959 while Mao was tearing China apart with his so-called Great Leap Forward.
**”Lao” means “old,” and “Dong” is a name. Yes, their name is “Old Dong.” Someone must have clued them into how that sounds in English because their company’s English character URL says “old don” instead.