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  • Casino Royale – The Book (Spoilers)

    In one hour I go to see the new Casino Royale Bond film. 15 minutes ago I finished re-reading the original book, which I haven’t taken off my shelf in 20+ years.

    Fortunately, all those years ago, I didn’t choose Casino Royale as the first book to read, instead I choose Moonraker, which was at jarring disparity with the film of the same name. Nonetheless, I eventually read all of the Bond books, including Casino Royale. It was an unmemorable book, apart from the lingering mental image of the savagery of the torture that Bond is inflicted in the course of the story. They say the new movie has gone back to the story. (Has there been a Bond film actually remotely following the original book since On Her Majesty’s Secret Service?

    In a few hours, I shall know.

    Synopsis
    Le Chiffre a French agent working for the Soviets has gotten himself into a bit of trouble. His investment in prostitution collapsed on him. Too bad he used Soviet moneys that were entrusted to him to make the investment. The auditors have got wind that something is up and the communists don’t send you to prison when you use non-standard accounting practices. He has to get back the money and he plans to win big playing baccarat at Casino Royale.

    M sends 007, one of the service’s best agents to beat him at cards. The logic follows that the Soviet will do the rest. Le Chiffre will be discredited and terminated, crushing his branch of the organization.

    When Bond arrives, they’re on to him already but they bungle the attempt to kill him. In what can only be considered the shorted spy assignment on record, Bond stomps Le Chiffre (with a little help from the CIA’s pocketbook) in just about 8 hands. Mission over, time for Bond to go bag Vesper, the assistant sent to help him on the assignment.

    Foreplay consists of having dinner, but before the after dinner mint (so to speak) Vesper is kidnapped by Le Chiffre. Bond follows and is captured, tortured viciously (Seriously, I’ll never sit in a cane chair) and then Le Chiffre is killed by SMERSH, the Soviet assassination branch before he finishes we Bond.

    Case solved again. Well, apart from weeks of being in the hospital nursing Bond’s battered and broken gonads.

    Well, and then there’s the last third of the book where Bond takes Vesper who was unhurt in the ordeal, to the seaside to give his newly healed gonads a good workout. He falls in love with her and then she kills herself because she’s been a double agent for years and can’t stand it anymore.

    Analysis
    Ian Fleming was a spy, once, sort of. Ian Fleming was a playboy. Ian Fleming decided to get married, but before he did and settle down, he decided to write the definitive spy novel. Being an actual spy is probably quite boring, consequently, much of Casino Royale, being said definitive spy novel, is quite boring. It’s a three act play, where the exciting parts come in acts 1 and 2. Act 3 is a long, slow letdown. As with all Fleming books, he spends way too much time describing what they’re eating, what they’re smoking, drinking or how many buttons they have on their clothes.

    However, there’s no doubt that there’s a glimmer of the future (and better) Bond books to come.

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  • Sometimes we get comments…

    I got this comment posted today on one of my older posts.

    Matt wrote:

    I must say you are rather generous in your blasting of the McCoy Era. I find your comments irrelevant and uncalled for. Not liking a particular episode or Doctor is fair enough, but you went a little too far. Whether made for Tennant or McCoy, this episode still has qualities that outdo most of what we have so far seen in the revival. And you cannot dismiss the hard work the production crew out into every single minute we see on TV and take for granted. Its so easy to be openly critical of something when you have no clue how much thought and planning went into it.

    I’m responding here because I think it’s best addressed where it is more likely to be seen and because I hope I can explain my point of view on the issue of criticism more clearly. Any review is a subjective process. The reviewer brings their own thoughts, predisposition and attitudes to the table every time they sit down to write. That is not a bad thing in what is, by definition, an opinion piece.

    That is what brings us different viewpoints. While I certainly enjoy reading a review that is similar to my own feelings on a subject because it brings a sense of positive affirmation, I also equally enjoy (while not agreeing with) conflicting reviews. Those things that people like or dislike are what they put forward and often in them you can see a different rationale at arriving at a disparate conclusion.

    I went back and re-read my posts concerning Love & Monsters and I’m going to stand behind them. I do not concur that I “…went a little too far” in my criticism of the episode. I’m not going to re-visit my criticisms here. I am going to address your points though, because I do feel that there are points of merit to make in response.

    First off, the amount of work, thought and planning that goes into any endeavor is irrelevant to evaluation of the finished product. Making allowances for the effort is sentimental, at best. Hard work does not always equal success, nor does hard work always mean that the goal is worthy of the effort put into it. (For example, I’m sure a lot of thought and planning went into the attack on Pearl Harbor, but that does not mean we should not be critical of the result.)

    This is not to say that the people on the production crew, the grips, the gaffers, the costume designers and the little old lady who fetches the tea didn’t do their job perfectly adequately, perhaps even perfectly. But it is to say that the finished product was fundamentally flawed on the drawing board, and that their efforts were, to some degree, in vain.

    In addition to not mattering how much work was done, neither does it matter if I have a clue as to how much work that was. As it happens, I have somewhat more than a laymen’s understanding of how much work is involved in this kind of production, but certainly not enough to have a complete appreciation of every detail. I need not understand how much work went into the building of my television set to know if the picture quality stinks. The criteria for judging an episode of a TV show is not units of work, it is “units of enjoyment”, if you will.

    In that respect, this episode was a failure to my mind.

    Particularly when you’re talking about a series, there are certain expectations that must be met – a unwritten contract between the producers and the viewers. It’s a contract that for my part says, “I’m going to be back at my TV one week from tonight watching your show because you’re telling a story I want to see.” And I’m there, investing my time watching the show rather than doing something else. They’ve promised me value for my time and if they slipped an episode of the 700 Club in instead of Doctor Who, I’d feel cheated.

    That’s how this episode played to me. They didn’t have the budget to make 13 episodes of Doctor Who, so they made 12 and 1 filler of something else and they had the temerity to package it as Doctor Who. I’d have rather seen them make just 12.

    Now, taking this episode out of the context of the Doctor Who series, I still feel it was a mess. The production was certainly on par with the quality of the rest of the revival series. Technically it is well done, but I see no particular qualities that “…outdo most of what we have seen so far in the revival.” Indeed, apart from the soundtrack, I saw no qualities that outdid the rest of the revival. At best it achieved a tie and only in the technical arts.

    There’s no doubt that Love & Monsters is one of those “love it or hate” it episodes. That was apparent the day after it first aired. Like discussions on politics and religion, I doubt that there will be many converts from one side to the other; however, I would certainly like to hear what you (or anybody else) liked (or disliked) about it.

    On a second note, as you say, I generously blast the McCoy era. I’d go so far as to say that I heap derision on it. So much so that, in one respect, I will recant my statement that Love & Monsters is the worst ever. McCoy’s Ghost Light was the worst ever. I had forgotten how stupendously awful it really was. Having recently seen both, Ghost Light wins that ignominious title hands down. I fear as they release more McCoy DVDs that title may transfer hands again.

    So what’s wrong with the McCoy era?

    One of the things that they overplay in the revival series is that notion that death follows the Doctor everywhere. That’s not correct. The Doctor is chasing death. He’s trying to intercept and detour death. He arrives in time to stop deaths. Yes, some still occur, but blaming it on the Doctor’s presence is back-assward logic. Whatever he may be: eccentric, arrogant, ineffectual, flamboyant, comical or cranky, the Doctor is always a moral force for good.

    During McCoy’s era that changed. By the end of his time, the Doctor had become a moral but callous creature. He played with the lives of his companions and the people around him like chess pieces. He set his own agenda, unknown and unanswerable to anyone and, while we’re to believe he’s doing it for the overall “good” the fact is that his game playing almost certainly resulted in some of the deaths. In McCoy’s case, death really did follow the Doctor.

    Of course, the fact that the scripts during that era became increasingly incoherent hardly helped things at all, either.

    My reviews may be opinionated, acerbic or may even appear downright mean-spirited at times, but they are not. (Mean-spirited, that is. OK, I won’t swear that I’ve never been mean-spirited.) I’m not paid to write reviews, I write about things I care about. I’ve been a fan of Doctor Who for 31 years but that is not carte blanche that everything about it must be good.

    You made a fair criticism and it might surprise you to know that these are not ideas that hadn’t occurred to me in the past. Where is the point when a review becomes a litany or nit-picking and flaw bashing? And when are those flaws justifiably something that should have been “fixed” and therefore something that should be pointed out? It may be a fine line.

    Many is the time that after writing a review, I walk away and come back later to decide if I went “too far”. Sometimes I feel I did and I soften them, sometimes when I come back, I’m even more sure than ever. In the case of Love & Monsters even coming back to my review months later, I still feel it is spot on.

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  • The Sound of Bond… James Bond

    Since 1981 (For Your Eyes Only) I’ve generally managed to go to the opening day of each new Bond film. (Although after the disaster that was Goldeneye I was in no particular hurry to go to Tomorrow Never Dies.)

    When Brosnan started, they shifted the normal opening weekend to be on or about my birthday, so now I often have to “adjust” the day I go see the films to coincide with a birthday dinner. Our baby sitter has been sick all last week, so it doesn’t look like I’m even going to get to see Casino Royale on my birthday tomorrow.

    In lieu of seeing the film, I did go out an buy the soundtrack so I could listen to it while using my extra time to re-read the original novel. (A novel I haven’t dusted off my bookshelf since 1979.)

    What I can’t help noticing is that, while I cheered David Arnold’s brilliant capturing of the John Barry “feel” in the early parts of Tomorrow Never Dies, his work has gotten more and more repetitive in each subsequent film. Now, I’m the first to admit that there’s a lot of repetition in John Barry’s scores, too, but somehow they remain “fresher”. This score might well just be more of Die Another Day. It’s enjoyable, but it drifts off into the background, until you get to track 25, The Name is Bond… James Bond and the old John Barry arranged, Monty Norman composed James Bond theme kicks into high gear. It certainly ends the album on a high note.

    Unless you bought your album all digital like from the iTunes music store, which has 13(!) bonus tracks not available on the CD, nor are they available for individual purchase.

  • The Codfather – Review

    The Codfather

    My friend over at Stalking Moon Comics was moving his store this last weekend* (and that, in itself is a story equally as “amusing” as my iPod’s Tale) and I was helping out as much as a could, recovering from the flu as I was and all. On my way over on Monday night, at 35th Ave and Greenway, I passed a place called “The Codfather” which I could just make out said “fish & chips”, along with a large banner saying “Now open.”

    I’m always on the lookout for some place that could make good fish & chips, although I’m usually disappointed. Arizona is just nowhere near enough to an ocean to get good fish.

    Now, I’m the first to admit, I grew up in the desert, and I don’t appreciate much in the way of seafood, but I love fish & chips. When we went to the UK, one of the things I liked best was the fact that British fish & chips really are the best. We ate in chippies from London to Ft. William and only once did I get sub-par fish.

    So, later in the week I returned to the Codfather at dinner time with the family. The first thing I noticed was that they emphasized that they were “English fish & chips” and the second thing I noticed was that the place was completely devoid of customers. Considering how busy the nearby restaurants were, that wasn’t a good sign.

    Inside it’s clean, and decorated with few English-themed pictures, plus a wall mural of Parliament and Big Ben. The most important (or, more often, the most unimportant) piece of decoration was a New Times Best Fish & Chips of Phoenix 2005 award. Since the New Times is not always known for having good taste, the award is meaningless, but it did tell me the store was open longer than I thought, since those awards are given out in September, meaning the store has been open more than a year.

    Their menu contains the obvious fish & chips, which come in the traditional cod, plus haddock, halibut, mahi-mahi, salmon and catfish. Haddock was common in the UK, more so up north, but I’ve never seen it in a chippie in the US. Their menu also includes other traditional British items such as saveloy sausages, battered sausages, steak & kidney pie, shepard’s pie & bubble and squeak.

    I was there for the fish.

    So how was it? For once, the New Times got it right – this was the real deal – an English fish & chip shop smack dab in the middle of the desert. We all had cod and you get 1 piece with the combo (fish, chips & soda), but it was an enormous piece of fish, fully 10“ or more long and at least 2” wide.

    The chips were of that authentic, soggy British variety and when the whole thing was soaked down with vinegar it was great.

    Some research after the fact reveals that the Codfather is run by a British ex-pay who trained in the UK as a fish fryer. You can’t ask for more authentic than that.


    *He actually moved weeks ago, but I wrote this back then and for some reason for got to post it. 🙁

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  • When Fish Meet Cars

    If you think you can predict the behavior of children, think again.

    Every weekend, when my wife leaves for work around 1:00PM, we go through the same routine. We find a DVD to put on that will distract my son, James, enough so that Irene can leave the house without him going into fits of crying.

    James is crazy about two things: fish and cars. Until now, our one surefire DVD that can completely absorb his attention is Finding Nemo. I honestly think he could watch it 5 times in a row without interruption.

    So imagine how happy we were that Pixar’s latest, Cars, was released on DVD? OK, that was a rhetorical question but the answer was “quite happy” and I’m rather sick of Finding Nemo.

    When my wife left today, I put on Cars and watched in fascination as my son watched the movie with the same attention that he’d give a BBC Four documentary on Bronze-age pottery shards* – that is to say, he wasn’t interested at all.

    Kids!


    *For the record: No, I don’t watch documentaries on Bronze-age pottery shards.

  • Doctor Who – The Mark of the Rani – Review

    The Mark of the Rani
    by Pip and Jane Baker

    Starring Colin Baker as the Doctor and Nicola Bryant as Peri

    The Doctor and Peri are diverted to the early 19th century where not one, but two renegade Time Lords are out to do the Doctor mischief.

    Summary

    In a peaceful iron mining town in the 19th century, miners are being changed into violent luddites by a mysterious old woman running a bath house. Meanwhile, the Doctor and Peri arrive on scene after the TARDIS is dragged off course by a mysterious interference from another time machine. Unbeknownst to them, they are stalked by the Master, who has drawn them here to kill them.

    The Master reveals the woman running the bath house to be the Rani, an exiled Time Lord scientist. She is uninterested in his feud with the Doctor and wants to proceed with her own business: Extracting the brain chemicals that allow humans to sleep. The process isn’t fatal, but has the side effect of making the victims violent and unable to rest.

    The Master forces the Rani to help him destroy the Doctor.

    The Doctor investigates the outbreak of violence and meets the famous inventor George Stephenson. Stephenson has called a meeting of some of the worlds greatest geniuses, and he Master wants to harness them to rule the Earth.

    Analysis

    Perhaps it is the fact that I just watched the appalling Ghost Light, but I enjoyed this episode a lot more than I recall doing when it first aired in 1985. I intensely disliked Pip and Jane Baker’s work back then, but this story really wasn’t that bad. Despite that, I’m not particularly looking forward to the release of Time and the Rani.

    Some have said that the location footage is the star of this story, and while I wouldn’t go that far, it certainly adds a lot to the production value of the episodes. Colin Baker, at this point, had settled into the Doctor fairly well and struck a good balance between obnoxious and brilliant do-gooder.

    Kate O’Mara plays the Rani just slightly over-the-top, but you might not notice it because of the completely over-the-top, pantomime Master as played by Anthony Ainley. Ainley’s portrayal of the Master is one of the most disappointing things in this story. Perhaps it was an intentional descent into madness for the character, but each successive appearance was more camp than the last. In this episode, he cannot even walk normally and is constantly sort of tip-toeing with his shoulders hunched over and wild eyes. At any moment I expect him to turn to the camera, put his fingers to his lips and say to the audience, “Be very quiet, I’m hunting the Doctor.” (Followed, perhaps by the sound of someone slapping their leg and shouting, “OH NO YOU’RE NOT!”)

    The Master’s character really has no business in this story, and I’m sure he was added in as an afterthought. It’s a complete waste of his character and he is completely eclipsed by the Rani. No more is he a formidable adversary of the Doctor, but an insane caricature – a shadow of the Master past.

    While the location scenes are nice and well put together, too often the studio scenes come across like a stage play, with lots of stilted dialog, particularly between the Master and the Rani. If I don’t know better, I would say it was two different directors.

    There’s a tragic tale of the musician hired to score the story dying after only producing 20 minutes of music. His score was scrapped and a new one commissioned. The new one is not good, it drones and grates and sounds grotesquely, electronically anachronistic. Well, Doctor Who has never had great incidental music – and yet I keep buying the CDs.

    Despite the fact that I enjoyed this one, I’m not letting Pip and Jane off the hook that easily, I do have a number of bones to pick with their script.

    For example, who’s going to buy that the Master wants to “harness the genius” of early 19th century humans to take over the world. Surely the 19th century’s greatest brain is nothing but a drooling idiot by comparison to even the lowliest of Time Lords. What could they possibly come up with that wouldn’t be child’s play to the Master? (I’m sensing a theme there, because, as I recall, in Time and the Rani, the Rani is capturing earth geniuses for some equally idiotic plan.)

    Why would the Master try to drop the Doctor’s TARDIS into the mine shaft to destroy it? Surely he, of all people, should know that something that simple could never harm the TARDIS?

    The Rani, a brilliant Time Lord chemist, can’t synthesize a simple human brain substance? And she supposed to so brilliant and amoral, yet she wastes time to invent land mines which turn people into trees? (And don’t get me started about the scene where the tree reaches out to cop a feel from Peri… er… save her from becoming a tree, too.)

    Still, despite all that, I enjoyed it. (Alright, I bristled a bit every time the Master was made look idiotic.) As I recall, I didn’t originally like the 45 minute episode format, but it plays well here. I’m more convinced than ever that the new Doctor Whos should adopt two-part episodes as the norm in the future.

    Colin Baker is one of my favorite Doctors and yet, he didn’t get very good stories. It’s disconcerting to say that this is his best of those currently available on DVD.

    Hand of Fear is waiting on my DVD shelf for viewing next.

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  • First Looks – Doctor Who – The Invasion

    Little Storping-in-the-Swuff =» “The Invasion” Animated Episodes Review

    The first “re-constructed” Doctor Who episode for DVD has been released in the UK. “Invasion” starring Patrick Troughton as the second Doctor battling the Cybermen in London with the first appearance of UNIT. They have combined the original audio track and new animation to re-create the missing episodes. While I have to wait a few months for release in the US, early indications are that the it’s good.

    Simon at Little-Storping-In-The-Swuff writes:

    (T)he episodes have been reanimated by Cosgrove Hall (who produced the BBCi Doctor Who: The Scream of Shalka serial).

    The animation, in black and white, is impressive. It has a different “feel” to the live action episodes, and clearly the animation isn’t photorealistic and doesn’t resemble live action, but whilst it’s two dimensional the images have depth…

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  • Doctor Who – Ghost Light – Review

    Ghost Light
    by Marc Platt

    1989, Starring Sylvester McCoy as The Doctor
    and Sophie Alred as Ace

    Synopsis
    The Doctor and Ace arrive at a Victorian House and lots of nonsensical crap and dialog get spread around like someone had a sprinkler attachment on their asshole.

    Analysis
    Seriously, I can only assume that Marc Platt is a pseudonym because I find it hard to believe anyone would take credit for this story. After three viewings I still couldn’t make head nor tail of what they were trying to accomplish except to waste airtime. In just three episodes, even the most hardcore Doctor Who fan would have to be convinced that it was time to put a bullet in the series’ head and let us all out of our misery.

    If you’re buying Doctor Who DVDs, give this one a miss and save yourself 20.625in2 on your bookshelf that you could use for something useful, like dust bunnies.

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  • Torchwood – Small Worlds – Review (Spoilers, blah, blah)

    Small Worlds
    by Peter J. Hammond

    The mystery of Capt. Jack deepens as the Torchwood team comes up against their most formidable opponent yet: fairies.

    Summary

    A quintessentially eccentric British old lady (QEBOL) stalks silently through the forest. She is hunting and finds a circle of glowing fairies, flittering around a stone circle. She takes a few photos and leaves. Her intrusion does not go unnoticed.

    Meanwhile, Capt. Jack has a nightmare and awakes to find a rose petal. At the same time, the Torchwood monitoring systems notice freak weather patterns.

    The next day, a pedophile attempts to abduct a young girl, but something invisible and unseen attacks him, attempting to choke him with rose petals. Jack and Gwen go to visit the QEBOL, who turns out to be a former lover of Jack’s “father” from the 1940’s. [Her name is Estelle, but I’m going to keep calling her QEBOL.] She’s a researcher into fairies, and she’s been giving a talk about her recent photographs. Jack asks to see all her photos and data and warns her that these fairies aren’t nice, sweet little creatures. QEBOL explains to Gwen that she and Jack have had disagreement on their nature before.

    As the investigations progress, it is clear no one is safe from them and their pursuit of one young girl, their next “chosen one”.

    Analysis

    This story was by Peter J Hammond, creator of Sapphire & Steel and it shows: It plays fast and loose with the concept of linear time, features creatures “from outside of time” and doesn’t bother to explain the real nature of the antagonists. That might sound like a criticism, but it isn’t. There are very few TV writers who can pull that off and Hammond is certainly one of them. The episode is well written and constructed and isn’t nearly as “unexplained” as episodes of Sapphire & Steel. This may be the best episode of Torchwood yet.

    In fact, most of the unexplained “mystery” in this episode does more to make the story of Capt. Jack more complicated rather than bog down the main narrative.

    The QEBOL’s lover was, in fact, Jack himself. That’s not so much of a surprise as the Doctor first met Jack in 1940’s London. Although we know Jack was a renegade Time Agent, we never learned what Time Agents do. Perhaps I was reading something into it that wasn’t there, but it seemed in The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances that Jack hadn’t been there more than a few months. QEBOLs explanation in Small Worlds makes it sound like he’s been there much longer.

    Later, Jack reveals (to the audience, if not specifically to Gwen) that he was commanding troupes in 1909. Again, what does a Time Agent do? Would Jack as an agent or a con man have spent enough time in 1909 to take command of troupes going into war?

    Considering how world-weary Jack’s character seems in Torchwood, compared to Doctor Who, I almost think they’re going to reveal that he somehow after the Dalek battle in space and his resurrection by Rose and the time vortex that perhaps he was sent way back in time and has been living for ages as an immortal being.

    Acting and production were again impeccable, the only reservation I had was that the CGI fairies in “scary” mode had a slightly rushed feel to them.

    This episode relied on story, action and characters and required no superficial insertions of sex scenes, innuendo nor Capt. Jack’s “kiss of life.”

    This story makes me wish they’d bring back Sapphire & Steel.


    Additional note: Maybe it’s just me, because my wife says she didn’t understand the episode.

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  • Ai Raifu!

    Apple Japan => Get A Mac

    Too funny!

    Those (some say brilliant, other say annoying) “Get A Mac” ads that Apple has been running lately aren’t just a local thing. Apple Japan has their own versions, too.

    I hope the guy on the left isn’t supposed to be Bill Gates.

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