We were up at 5:00AM and out the door by 6:30 to meet the 7:00AM bus. Even though it topped 92 degrees on Monday afternoon, it was freezing at 6:30 in the morning. The bus headed south of Jackson, where we reached a boat dock on the Snake River where we were to take a combination scenic and whitewater trip for 16 miles down the mighty Snake River.
The first half of the trip was the “scenic†part. The water was very calm and totally flat. The pace of the trip was designed to enjoy the scenery. After 8 miles, we stopped at camp for a breakfast of sausage, eggs and pancakes. My in-laws, along with Kiki, with her hurt knee, left the river at this point. The remaining four of us proceeded on the 8 mile whitewater portion of the trip. There are several whitewater companies making the trips down the river. We estimated, conservatively we felt, that there are at least 60 trips per day and the river was rather crowded.
Bouncing along the “rapids†was a lot of fun, but it was late in the summer and it had been quite hot. By this point in the year, the river was no longer swollen with run-off and there really wasn’t much in the way of rapids.
Rapids are classified in a system of 1 to 5; 1 being the easiest, 5 being the most difficult. Our trip comprised mostly of Class 1 and 2 rapids, with 3 Class 3 rapids. There were 13 or 14 people on our boat, including some small children (6 to 10 years of age), one of whom was very vocal about not wanting to get doused or killed on the rapids. Which each little rapid he would ask, “Was that the Big Kahona?†(Big Kahona is the name of the biggest Class 3 rapid we were going to go through.)
We had a raft which could go either direction and our guide, Mitch, asked which side of the boat wanted to go first through the Big Kahona. (First means wettest.) We took a vote and the other side of the boat won, Chu-Wan was very disappointed, as was the vocal brat on the far side of the boat. Mitch gave Chu-Wan and the boy a chance to swap sides and they did. Chu-Wan and the boy’s family got drenched. Those of us at the rear of the boat only got a little wet by the Big Kahona, but, but now all the little splashes had gotten us pretty well soaked anyway. (Incidentally, the water is 40 degrees F.).
The boy jubilently started laughing and gloating and shouting at the other side of the boat, telling them how they were “losersâ€, etc. He was sitting at the extreme rear end of the boat, the furthest from the action.
I said but one thing, “Mitch, can you turn the boat around for the next one?â€
Mitch looked pleased and turned the boat around. The boy was now screaming in terror.
When it works, justice is good.
On the next rapid the boy got sloshed but good and knocked off of his perch on the raft. I grabbed him before he went overboard, although the temptation was there to let him go.
Our overall group had been broken into two boats, and the boat behind us had a family with three incredibly obnoxious children in it. On the bus ride, I learned that the boys’ names were Thaddeus, Chance and Alexander. They fought, they bickered, they irritated everyone and their new-age maternal parental unit never said a negative word to the little shits all the way to the river or all the way back no matter how bad or out-of-control they got.
I was pleased to see that two out of the three of them were pushed overboard by their guide and father as part of a “practice†for what to do in case they fell over during the rapids. They were soaked and shivering, but they still wouldn’t shut up on the way back to Jackson. They were impressive in their sustained horridness.
During the 16 miles trip we saw
- 7 Bald Eagles
- 2 adult pair
- 1 pair of immature eagles
- 1 solo individual (we probably just missed seeing his mate)
- 2 bald eagle nests,
- 4 Osprey ,
- schools of Cutthroat Trout and
- significant Beaver damage (but no Beavers).
Back in town, Chu-Wan and I went shopping, then hit the CyberCity Internet café and game center so I could finally see what was happening in the rest of the world.
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